Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
