i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just gargled with NyQuil
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
