i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
