He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
