I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
