I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
