Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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