Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
