so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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