We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize