I am spending my child support on dildos
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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