I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
