Betty ford says i'm here all night
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize