wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
