just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I came so hard my ears popped.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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