No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
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