i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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