You can't motorboat a personality
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
