and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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