I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
