all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
