How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
