That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
