Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
