We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
