my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sobbing to NWA
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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