I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
