Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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