I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
