Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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