her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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