I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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