So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
