Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
