I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
