Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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