We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
