Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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