my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
