Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
