Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
