Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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