i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
jump out the window naked night went bad
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
