I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
