I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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