walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
