I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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