I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
