i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize