Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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