I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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