it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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