Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this just has baby written all over it
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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