Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
