this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
