This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
