Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
