What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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