the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize