remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Randomize
