If that was your dad, he is hot
Apparently you make a good broom.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
