Non-Jews are for practice
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Holy sore nipples Batman
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
