Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
