You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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